Thursday, December 30, 2010

A SIGN OF RESPECT

I just read a good friend's blog on being respectful to others. I love the way my friend writes. She can make you feel and understand the point she wants to make.  She was talking about how growing up in the South it is common to say Ma'am and Sir when talking to adults. It's a southern sign of respect. I don't think it's just the "sounthern" way........


When I was younger growing up in Alsip, IL mom raised her children with the same respect as my friend had been taught only the Luczak children were taught to say Mrs. or Mr. We were never allowed to call adults by their names only. We even called our adult relatives with Aunt, Uncle, Grandma, Granddpa, ectt... I think we would have gotten a pop across the mouth if we left the title off. 
Mom had a good friend Marilyn Perry. I don't remember mom saying, "Carmen, go ask Marilyn this", it would have, "Carmen go ask Mrs. Perry this". So I would address Marilyn as Mrs. Perry. Nowadays after finding her through facebook, I call her Marilyn, but in the back of my mind I wonder if I should ask for permission to call her Marilyn or would she rather be called Mrs. Perry still.


Fast forward to when we moved to Morrisonville, IL (early 70"s). We were still expected to address an adult by the title and last name. Another good friend of mom's is Lucille Langen. While growing up I always called her Mrs. Langen. When I email her I have tried calling her Lucille or Lucy, but it doesn't flow off the tongue so smoothly for me. I am more comfortable with Mrs. Curvey. I just had a thought of now that FB is a way of communicating for people, why am I calling people by their first name when I would add that special title and their last name. Could it be that the world has become "less" formal, or the people I added titles to aren't really that much older than I am now that I am an adult? 


A neighbor of ours in Mville, Sharon Prose is a FB friend. When I was still in school and delivering her and her husbands Breeze Courier, I would address them as Mr. or Mrs. Prose. Sometimes I would say Mr. Prose's nickname of Doc.  Now it's just Sharon. Just seems strange.


Now when I had my two children, I wanted to raise them with manners and taught them to say Mr., Miss., or Mrs. When you are trying your hardest to teach them, "Alicia and Matthew, I would like to introduce you to Mrs. Langen or Mr. Prose", it is made hard when those people say in front of you, "Oh, you can call me Lucille or Doc. After trying for so long, I just gave up. Depending on who the persons are nowadays, I will introduce my children to people by a title or just their name. 


I do know that when I worked at Walmart I could not stand being called Miss Carmen. To be truthful I HATED it. This is how you would address an educator or senior citizen. Even after it was explained to me that it is a sign of respect it didnt change my mind. I would just tell co-worker to call me just Carmen. Miss Carmen makes me feel old, which I am not. Everytime I was hit with Miss Carmen, I would hit back with Just Carmen. To this day I find it hard to call my teachers by a title and their name - Miss Erika, Ms. Gillespie, ect... I usually call them by their first names. I guess if they objuect they would tell me, right?

Sunday, December 19, 2010

DREAMS

"....WHEN I WAS YOUNG, I NEVER NEEDED ANYONE, AND MAKING LOVE WAS JUST FOR FUN, THOSE DAYS ARE GONE....." - ALL BY MYSELF, ERIC CARMEN  (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bf9txfsMhU0)


 THERE ARE TWO TYPES OF DREAMS FOR ME. THE KIND WHERE YOU ARE AWAKE AND THINKING ABOUT WHAT LIFE WOULD BE LIKE IF ... OR DREAMING ABOUT BEING CLOSE TO THAT SPECIAL SOMEONE YOU ARE ATTRACTED TO... MAYBE EVEN THINKING WHAT IT WOULD BE LIKE TO RUN OVER THAT ONE PERSON WHO TOTALLY PISSES YOU OFF; THAT AT THAT TIME IT WOULDN'T MATTER TO YOU THE CONSEQUENCES.  IN THE PAST I WOULD I USE TO DAYDREAM ABOUT ALL KINDS OF THINGS: BEING A GIRLFRIEND TO SO AND SO , MARRYING DONNY OSMOND, BEING A SINGER, ME GETTING MARRIED LIKE MARIA ON THE SOUND OF MUSIC. DAYDREAMING WAS A "BIG" PART OF MY LIFE, I USE TO GET IN TROUBLE WITH MY PARENTS BECAUSE I WOULD BE DAYDREAMING SO MUCH INSTEAD OF MY SCHOOL WORK. 


THEN THERE ARE THE DREAMS THAT OCCUR WHEN I AM SLEEPING. NOWADAYS WHEN I DREAM IT USUALLY IS BECAUSE OF THE STRESS IN MY LIFE OR BECAUSE I AM ON THE WRONG MED OR NO MEDS AT ALL. I VERY SELDOM DREAM IN COLOR, AND VERY SELDOM DREAM OF BEING IN LOVE OR EVEN HAVING A RELATIONSHIP. MY DREAMS CAN GET REALLY FREAKY SOMETIMES.


I CAN REMEMBER FOR YEARS, FROM THE TIME I WAS IN GRADE SCHOOL TO EVEN DURING MY SECOND MARRIAGE DREAMING OF MY BROTHER, RICK, DYING. I REMEMBER THE SAME DREAM, HE WOULD LAYING IN THE CASKET AND I WOULD ALWAYS, ALWAYS WAKE UP CRYING. I MAY HAVE HAD THE DREAM ONCE AFTER HE ACTUALLY DIED: WAKING UP CRYING AND TRYING TO CATCH MY BREATHE.  I NEVER THOUGHT IT WAS A SIGN OF THINGS TO COME. TO ME IT WAS JUST A DREAM. I ACTUALLY HAD FORGOTTEN ABOUT THOSE DREAMS UNTIL THE WEEK THE FAMILY GATHERED TO MAKE PLANS FOR HIS FUNERAL.  I WAS MORE SHOCKED I WOULD REMEMBER THAT AT SUCH A SHOCKING AND SAD TIME.  (THERE HAS ONLY BEEN ONE TIME I DREAMT ABOUT ONE OF MY KIDS DYING, CAN'T REMEMBER WHO IT WAS SO LONG AGO. I DO REMEMBER THEY WERE HIT BY A CAR).


WHEN I WAS YOUNGER, THE BIG THING TO DO ON WEEKENDS WAS WATCHING "CREATURE FEATURES", YOU KNOW THE OLD, OLD FRANKENSTEIN MOVIES, THE WAX MUSEUM MOVIES, AND ALL THE OTHER SCARY MOVIES FOR A YOUNG PERSON TO SEE. WHEN THINKING BACK NOW THE MOVIES WERENT REALLY THAT SCARY, BUT AS A YOUNGER PERSON YOU DIDNT KNOW BETTER. I CAN REMEMBER WATCHING DINOSAOR MOVIES AS WELL AS KING KONG.  THEN FOR THE LONGEST TIME I WOULD DREAM KING KONG WAS CHASING ME AROUND THE BLOCK WE LIVED IN  UP NORTH CHICAGO.  SOME MOVIES JUST ROCKED ME TO THE CORE. I WOULD STILL DREAM KING KONG WAS CHASING ME DOWN THE MAIN STREET OF MORRISONVILLE, IL  FROM WHERE THE PARK WAS TO THE HIGHWAY.  TOOK ME A LONG TIME BEFORE THAT DREAM FINALLY WENT AWAY....


DID YOU EVER HAVE A DREAM YOU WERE IN A CAR GOING OVER A VIADUCT AND THEN ALL OF A SUDDEN THE CAR SWERVED OFF AND WAS FLYING (NO WINGS INCLUDED) BUT THE CAR WOULDNT CRASH? I DID AND  I WOULD ALWAYS WAKE UP BREATHING HARD? HAD THAT DREAM FOR YEARS AND YEARS ALSO.  THOSE TYPES OF DREAMS ARE SO NERVE WRACKING.


ONE OF MY MORE HUMOROUS DREAMS THAT I STILL HAVE ONCE IN A BLUE MOON IS WALKING DOWN THE STREET MY PARENTS LIVE ON IN MORRISONVILLE. I AM ALWAYS WALKING FROM THE GRADE SCHOOL TOWARDS THEIR HOME NAKED. IT'S STRANGE, AS I AM WALKING THERE ARE FAMILIES FROM WHEN I WAS YOUNGER OUT IN THE YARDS TALKING TO NEIGHBORS, DOING YARD WORK, AND NO ONE NOTICES ME. AS I AM WALKING, I SAY TO MYSELF IN MY HEAD. CAN'T ANYONE SEE THAT I AM WALKING DOWN THE STREET NAKED? NOW THAT IS STRANGE.


AS I HAVE GOTTEN OLDER MY DREAMS ARE CENTERED AROUND PEOPLE I KNOW. NO WAY DO I HAVE PSYCHIC ABILITIES BUT A LOT OF TIMES I HAVE DREAMT ABOUT SOMEONE AND THEN I WILL HEAR SOMETHING, READ SOMETHING, OR SEE THEM IN PERSON.  ONE DREAM I REMEMBER CLEARLY IS DREAMING ABOUT AN OLD FRIEND, MIKE LEITSCHUCH. I DON'T REMEMBER THE DREAM, BUT I REMEMBER SHORTLY AFTER READING IN THE PAPER HE AND HIS WIFE HAVING A BABY.  AND IT'S NOT JUST DREAMS, SOMETIMES A THOUGHT  OR MEMORY WILL HIT ME AND THEN THAT PERSON IS BROUGHT TO MY ATTENTION IN REAL LIFE. I AM SURE A LOT OF PEOPLE DEAL WITH THIS, BUT I AM ALWAYS AMAZED.


WHEN MY BEST FRIEND OF ALL THE WORLD DIED, JOE LUCAS. I DREAMT OF HIM ONCE SOMETIME AFTER. HE WAS AT A PARTY AND WE WERE HAVING SUCH A GOOD TIME. I WAS SO DISTRESSED BY HIS LOSS, THAT I FIGURED THAT DREAM WAS TELLING TO QUIT WORRYING ABOUT HIM, HE WAS DOING JUST FINE. THAT WAS 14/15 YEARS AGO.  HOW STRANGE I WOULD HAVE A DREAM OF HIM THIS MORNING ONCE AGAIN. I DON'T KNOW WHY, BUT WE WERE SITTING IN THE DITCH ACROSS THE STREET FROM WHERE HE AND HIS FAMILY HAD LIVED FOR YEARS. HE AND HIS FRIEND AND I WERE SITTING AND TALKING, I WAS JUST TELLING HIM WHAT WAS GOING ON IN MY LIFE. IT'S BEEN 16 YRS SINCE JOE HAS DIED. AFTER ALL THESE YEARS I STILL MISS HIM AND THE LOVE AND FRIENDSHIP WE SHARED. 


YESTERDAY, I AWOKE FROM A DREAM. IT WAS A FORMER CLASSMATE I HAVE  NOT SEEN SINCE OUR LAST CLASS REUNION IN 2003 (OCT). I HAD BEEN DREAMING OF KENT KLINGER AND HIS SISTERS: KARA, KRISTI, AND KAYLA. MY SISTER, MICHELLE WAS IN THE DREAM ALSO. WE WERE SITTING AROUND A TABLE AT THEIR MOM AND DAD'S HOME. I WAS TRYING TO SAVE KENT FROM SOMETHING. BUT WHILE I AM TRYING TO THINK, ALL OF THEM LIGHT UP CIGARETTE'S AND START SMOKING. MY SISTER, MICHELLE, DOESNT SMOKE.


WHEN I WAS STILL MARRIED TO THE FIRST HUSBAND, I HAD A DREAM WE WERE IN THE WILD WEST. I WAS IN A COURT ROOM AND WERE WERE THERE TO GET A DIVORCE.  THAT WAS STRANGE BECAUSE, IT WAS SOMETHING THAT HAD BEEN COMING FOR A LONG TIME. WHY WOULD I NEED TO DREAM ABOUT IT? THEN AGAIN A MONTH AGO, BEFORE THANKSGIVING, I HAD A DREAM THAT OUR SON MATT WAS HAVING THANKSGIVING AT HIS HOUSE AND HIS DAD WAS COMING. IN THE DREAM HIS DAD ASKED ME IF THERE WAS ANYTHING HE NEEDED TO BRING. OOPS! I THEN WOKE UP.  THE ONLY REASON I COULD THINK OF FOR DREAMING  OF DON, WAS TO FINALLY TELL MYSELF THAT ITS OKAY TO BE DECENT W/ HIM, IT'S BEEN A LONG TIME AGO AND WE CAN FINALLY BE FRIENDLY TOWARDS ONE ANOTHER.  TO BAD IN REAL LIFE IT'S NOT TRUE. THE GUY AND I HAVE BEEN DIVORCED FOR 35 YRS NOW (WOW, THAT DOESN'T SEEM POSSIBLE) AND HE STILL HATES MY GUTS. WILL NOT COME TO THE SONS HOUSE  IF I AM THERE. POOR GUY NEEDS TO GET OVER HIMSELF. HE IS NOT ALL THAT. I HAVE BEEN OVER HIM FOR A VERY LONG TIME......


WHY CAN'T I HAVE DREAMS ABOUT PEOPLE I CARE ABOUT: SAY MY GRANDPARENTS, MY BROTHER, RICK, MY SECOND HUSBAND , MOLANGA.  MOLANGA IS STILL ALIVE AS FAR AS I KNOW, BUT ITS BEEN 4 YRS SINCE WE LAST SAW ONE ANOTHER AND I HAVE NO IDEA HOW HIS HEALTH IS, IF HE IS STILL IN THE USA OR BACK IN ZAIRE AFRICA. I WANT TO KNOW...... i WOULD LOVE TO HAVE A DREAM WHERE I AM IN LOVE WITH A MAN WHO LOVES ME, OR I HAVE A FANTASTIC JOB.  OR SOMETHING FUN.  SERIOUS DREAMS ARE NOT ALWAYS FUN TO HAVE AND CAN GET TO BE BORING FOR THAT MATTER. 


I THANK GOD FOR DREAMS IN WHATEVER FORM. THEY CAN HELP WITH CREATIVITY AND REMIND YOU OF THE GOOD AND OR BAD TIMES. THEY CAN AWAKEN YOUR SPIRIT, SHOW YOU HOW TO DO THINGS MAYBE IN ANOTHER WAY. 


I LIKE DREAMING - KENNY NOLAN 
(http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0beWnZZOeJg&feature=related..........)